Bungalow Bistro
5137 N. Florida Ave, Tampa FL 33603
The location of Bungalow Bistro is for Tampa, kind of daring. We all know those who have invested in Seminole Heights consider it “the only place to live”. Yet Seminole Heights is lacking even dismal chain eateries, let alone a modicum of wannabe indies. OK, there is the always-busy pizza joint down the block but that sadly proves my consistent argument that Tampanians obviously do not care about quality when dining out.
The owners of Bungalow Bistro make a rather big deal about being in Seminole Heights and announce their restaurant to be housed in “our restored 1920’s casual-yet-elegant bungalow”. The baroque verbiage goes into overdrive when describing the eats, “a gourmet gem, feast on Euro-American inspired creations and homemade daily specials made generously with the freshest seasonal ingredients”. My mind will conjure up all types of tricks when presented with descriptions such as these, “A gourmet gem”, ah, yes; tiny, shiny and so hard it will break your teeth. “Euro-American inspired creations”, perfectly schizophrenic which must explain the Vietnamese Summer Rolls. “Made generously” as opposed to stingy mean spirited offerings. “Freshest seasonal ingredients” when just “fresh” won’t do! But honestly, the best incongruous description has to be “casual-yet-elegant”. They should of course add a byline that reads, “if you know what we mean by casual and elegant”. No! I do not know what you mean. My idea of casual does not share a dinning room with my notion of elegant. Dear Bungalow people, I know you mean well but your descriptions need a make over.
While you’re at it, give the whole place a make over. You tried hard it would seem to make the place attractive on the outside. Shame about the color choices but not everyone has my expert and cultured eye. Stepping inside, even you dear Bungalow folks know it needs work. The Coke machine dominates the view and is even more obtrusive if you happen to be seated near it. The faux Victoriana curtains show what may be a secret disdain for the restored 1920’s architecture along with the unfortunate artwork randomly gracing the dull walls.
On the occasions I have been to the Bungalow, the service has been friendly yet erratically confused; not overtly attentive or appallingly unprofessional. Unfortunately on one occasion a forlorn waitress was required to explain why she had not presented a wine list. “Well we just got wine in, we just had a busy night, and we almost sold out” she said breathlessly, no doubt hoping I would accept her explanation and order ice tea like almost all the other customers. Instead I asked what was available. This meant the embarrassed server had to return into the depths of the noisy kitchen and grab a clue, any clue about the restaurant’s current wine selection. I could see by her pained expression when she returned to the table that this was not going to very promising, so I ordered a bottle of the first “rubbish wine” she recited with a grimace. Presently she bought only two glasses of plonk, which proved to be adequate because my description “rubbish” did not do this red swill justice. It was rubbish “rubbish”.
And so to “Feast on “Euro-American inspired creations and homemade daily specials made generously with the freshest seasonal ingredients”. On my first visit I did avoid asking what exactly is “Euro-American”, (inspired or otherwise). Remaining ignorant of such a style of cuisine on my second visit, I did begin to ask the server but gave up when I saw she was completely out of her depth in describing that evening’s specials. Pita Wraps do seem to be a giveaway as to the serious intent of any kitchen. Here they do the job extremely well. The Falafel I ordered although certainly not nearly as remarkable as those I dream about from a stall in downtown Haifa, was remarkably honest in it’s ingredients and quality. My Middle Eastern palette was not disappointed either by the Hummus Assortment. Oddly, there was far more Pita than needed. The salads are average, no standouts or surprises and certainly not “inspired creations”.
“Soups!” My dear friend the acid-tongued Mr. GR declared at a notable meal we were enjoying in Paris when I posed the question “How do you tell if a kitchen is earnest?” GR went onto explain that he believes if a restaurant can concoct a fabulous soup then they are capable of creating a gastronomic feast. I have tried only one soup at Bungalow Bistro, French Onion. It was not great, a tad too salty and surprisingly greasy. Yes the soup did not quite live up to GR’s maxim. Although other dishes at this bistro are not awful, some far from it, but they are (again) hardly “inspired creations”. The burgers are workman-like and most notably, reasonably priced. Somewhat short on flavor and of course I abhor the use of ketchup or cheap mustard. A quick aside is needed here: why in the world do restaurants from chains to independents insist on using cheap little plastic containers for condiments and then placing them directly on the food? This is a gross, disgusting practice and should be outlawed. Moreover, it’s completely unhygienic! And don’t get me started about the aesthetics of squat plastic tubs of sickly neon-colored goo vying for my attention on what could be a decent dish!
If there is an option, instead of fries, most likely I will choose it unless I can be assured the fries are hand-cut and freshly plucked from clean oil. I chose the roasted potatoes to go with my burger. I tried one of these sad disgruntled morsels and that was enough to allow the rest to be unceremoniously dumped later into the waste bin (which happened to be in full view of my part of the dining room). I telephoned my acquaintance the noted French chef Mr. B. in New York for an opinion of the following description from the Bungalow’s dinner menu: “Andouilla Studded Tender Steak, grilled marinated shoulder tender stuffed with andouilla(sic) sausage, garlic mashed potatoes, red wine demi and topped with hollandaise sauce”. From the other end of the line I heard a long exasperated sigh and then “What!? What!? Is this a joke? Demi? Demi what? Demi Moore? Demi! Demi and hollandaise!? Is this a joke?” He did not hang up but was certainly irked that I had bothered him with such nonsense. “It’s Euro-American” I suggested. “It’s hideous my friend!” snapped the unsettled Mr. B. I trust Mr. B.’s opinion and I did not and will not try steak with “red wine demi topped with hollandaise”
The desserts at Bungalow Bistro remain a mystery to me because the last time I was there finishing my entrée I felt an urge to leave quickly after witnessing a scruffy man with unbelievably filthy sneakers count out paper money over the serving area.
Food: could do better
Service: could improve with experience
Ambience: could be out of the question5137 N. Florida Ave, Tampa FL 33603
The location of Bungalow Bistro is for Tampa, kind of daring. We all know those who have invested in Seminole Heights consider it “the only place to live”. Yet Seminole Heights is lacking even dismal chain eateries, let alone a modicum of wannabe indies. OK, there is the always-busy pizza joint down the block but that sadly proves my consistent argument that Tampanians obviously do not care about quality when dining out.
The owners of Bungalow Bistro make a rather big deal about being in Seminole Heights and announce their restaurant to be housed in “our restored 1920’s casual-yet-elegant bungalow”. The baroque verbiage goes into overdrive when describing the eats, “a gourmet gem, feast on Euro-American inspired creations and homemade daily specials made generously with the freshest seasonal ingredients”. My mind will conjure up all types of tricks when presented with descriptions such as these, “A gourmet gem”, ah, yes; tiny, shiny and so hard it will break your teeth. “Euro-American inspired creations”, perfectly schizophrenic which must explain the Vietnamese Summer Rolls. “Made generously” as opposed to stingy mean spirited offerings. “Freshest seasonal ingredients” when just “fresh” won’t do! But honestly, the best incongruous description has to be “casual-yet-elegant”. They should of course add a byline that reads, “if you know what we mean by casual and elegant”. No! I do not know what you mean. My idea of casual does not share a dinning room with my notion of elegant. Dear Bungalow people, I know you mean well but your descriptions need a make over.
While you’re at it, give the whole place a make over. You tried hard it would seem to make the place attractive on the outside. Shame about the color choices but not everyone has my expert and cultured eye. Stepping inside, even you dear Bungalow folks know it needs work. The Coke machine dominates the view and is even more obtrusive if you happen to be seated near it. The faux Victoriana curtains show what may be a secret disdain for the restored 1920’s architecture along with the unfortunate artwork randomly gracing the dull walls.
On the occasions I have been to the Bungalow, the service has been friendly yet erratically confused; not overtly attentive or appallingly unprofessional. Unfortunately on one occasion a forlorn waitress was required to explain why she had not presented a wine list. “Well we just got wine in, we just had a busy night, and we almost sold out” she said breathlessly, no doubt hoping I would accept her explanation and order ice tea like almost all the other customers. Instead I asked what was available. This meant the embarrassed server had to return into the depths of the noisy kitchen and grab a clue, any clue about the restaurant’s current wine selection. I could see by her pained expression when she returned to the table that this was not going to very promising, so I ordered a bottle of the first “rubbish wine” she recited with a grimace. Presently she bought only two glasses of plonk, which proved to be adequate because my description “rubbish” did not do this red swill justice. It was rubbish “rubbish”.
And so to “Feast on “Euro-American inspired creations and homemade daily specials made generously with the freshest seasonal ingredients”. On my first visit I did avoid asking what exactly is “Euro-American”, (inspired or otherwise). Remaining ignorant of such a style of cuisine on my second visit, I did begin to ask the server but gave up when I saw she was completely out of her depth in describing that evening’s specials. Pita Wraps do seem to be a giveaway as to the serious intent of any kitchen. Here they do the job extremely well. The Falafel I ordered although certainly not nearly as remarkable as those I dream about from a stall in downtown Haifa, was remarkably honest in it’s ingredients and quality. My Middle Eastern palette was not disappointed either by the Hummus Assortment. Oddly, there was far more Pita than needed. The salads are average, no standouts or surprises and certainly not “inspired creations”.
“Soups!” My dear friend the acid-tongued Mr. GR declared at a notable meal we were enjoying in Paris when I posed the question “How do you tell if a kitchen is earnest?” GR went onto explain that he believes if a restaurant can concoct a fabulous soup then they are capable of creating a gastronomic feast. I have tried only one soup at Bungalow Bistro, French Onion. It was not great, a tad too salty and surprisingly greasy. Yes the soup did not quite live up to GR’s maxim. Although other dishes at this bistro are not awful, some far from it, but they are (again) hardly “inspired creations”. The burgers are workman-like and most notably, reasonably priced. Somewhat short on flavor and of course I abhor the use of ketchup or cheap mustard. A quick aside is needed here: why in the world do restaurants from chains to independents insist on using cheap little plastic containers for condiments and then placing them directly on the food? This is a gross, disgusting practice and should be outlawed. Moreover, it’s completely unhygienic! And don’t get me started about the aesthetics of squat plastic tubs of sickly neon-colored goo vying for my attention on what could be a decent dish!
If there is an option, instead of fries, most likely I will choose it unless I can be assured the fries are hand-cut and freshly plucked from clean oil. I chose the roasted potatoes to go with my burger. I tried one of these sad disgruntled morsels and that was enough to allow the rest to be unceremoniously dumped later into the waste bin (which happened to be in full view of my part of the dining room). I telephoned my acquaintance the noted French chef Mr. B. in New York for an opinion of the following description from the Bungalow’s dinner menu: “Andouilla Studded Tender Steak, grilled marinated shoulder tender stuffed with andouilla(sic) sausage, garlic mashed potatoes, red wine demi and topped with hollandaise sauce”. From the other end of the line I heard a long exasperated sigh and then “What!? What!? Is this a joke? Demi? Demi what? Demi Moore? Demi! Demi and hollandaise!? Is this a joke?” He did not hang up but was certainly irked that I had bothered him with such nonsense. “It’s Euro-American” I suggested. “It’s hideous my friend!” snapped the unsettled Mr. B. I trust Mr. B.’s opinion and I did not and will not try steak with “red wine demi topped with hollandaise”
The desserts at Bungalow Bistro remain a mystery to me because the last time I was there finishing my entrée I felt an urge to leave quickly after witnessing a scruffy man with unbelievably filthy sneakers count out paper money over the serving area.
Food: could do better
Service: could improve with experience
